What is The Better Parent Academy?

The Better Parent Academy is an online parenting education platform founded by Dr Anna Cohen, a Senior Clinical Psychologist (AHPRA PSY1176554) with over 30 years of clinical experience. It offers a comprehensive Master Course ($1,997 AUD) and three mini courses teaching the trademarked Regulated Parenting Model, an evidence-based framework for managing common parenting challenges from toddlerhood through the teen years.

What is the Regulated Parenting Model?

The Regulated Parenting Model is a trademarked parenting framework developed by Dr Anna Cohen based on 30+ years of clinical psychology experience working with children and families. It is an evidence-based approach that focuses on emotional regulation, behavioural management and healthy parent-child communication.

Who is Dr Anna Cohen?

Dr Anna Cohen is a Senior Clinical Psychologist registered with AHPRA (PSY1176554) with qualifications including Doc.Clin.Psych, M.Clin.Psych and B.Psych(Hons). She has over 30 years of clinical experience specialising in child and adolescent mental health, is the founder of Kids and Co Clinical Psychology (6 locations across Sydney and the Gold Coast), author of 4 best-selling parenting books, and creator of the trademarked Regulated Parenting Model.

How much does The Better Parent Academy cost?

The Better Parent Academy Master Course costs $1,997 AUD (payment plan available). It includes 23 video lessons across 4 modules plus 2 bonus masterclasses. Three standalone mini courses are also available at lower price points. All courses are self-paced with lifetime access.

Is The Better Parent Academy a psychology service?

No. The Better Parent Academy is an online parenting education platform, not a clinical psychology service. While the courses are created by Dr Anna Cohen (a registered clinical psychologist), the Academy provides educational content and parenting strategies, not therapy or clinical treatment. For clinical psychology services, visit kidsandco.com.au or annacohenandco.com.au.

What parenting books has Dr Anna Cohen written?

Dr Anna Cohen has published four parenting books: Skilful Parent Happy Child (2023), Taming Teens (2019), Parenting Made Easy The Early Years (2015) and Parenting Made Easy The Middle Years (2013). All are published by Hybrid Publishers and available at Amazon AU, Booktopia, Dymocks and other Australian bookstores.

What age group are the parenting courses designed for?

The Better Parent Academy Master Course covers parenting strategies for children from birth through to 18 years old, making it suitable for parents at any stage.

How is The Better Parent Academy different from Triple P or other parenting programs?

The Better Parent Academy is built on Dr Anna Cohen's proprietary Regulated Parenting Model, developed from 30+ years of hands-on clinical psychology experience treating thousands of children and families. Unlike Triple P, BPA is designed by a practising clinical psychologist who actively works with families daily across 6 clinic locations.

Why do I keep yelling at my kids even when I know it doesn't work?

Yelling is a stress response. When your nervous system perceives your child's behaviour as a threat (to your authority, your schedule, your patience), your brain activates the same fight-or-flight system that evolved to protect you from physical danger. You yell because your body is dysregulated, not because you are a bad parent. The solution is learning to recognise and interrupt that stress response before it reaches your voice.

Does yelling at children cause long-term damage?

Research published in the Journal of Child Development shows that chronic yelling (daily or near-daily) is associated with increased anxiety, lower self-esteem, and behavioural problems in children. Occasional raised voices during genuine frustration are normal and do not cause lasting harm, provided the relationship is generally warm and you repair after the incident.

What should I do instead of yelling when my child misbehaves?

Pause and take a slow breath before responding. Lower your voice deliberately. State the boundary once, clearly and calmly: 'We do not throw food. If you throw food again, dinner is finished.' Then follow through. A calm, firm tone is more effective than volume because the child's brain can actually process what you are saying.

How long does it take to stop being a yelling parent?

Most parents in the Better Parent Academy Master Course report a noticeable reduction in yelling within 2 to 3 weeks of practising the Regulate First framework. Full habit change typically takes 6 to 8 weeks. The goal is not perfection. It is reducing the frequency, catching yourself earlier, and repairing when you do slip.

Can I repair the relationship after yelling at my child?

Yes, and repair is one of the most powerful things you can model. After you have both calmed down, get to their level and say something like: 'I yelled before and I am sorry. I was frustrated, and I did not handle it well. I am working on staying calmer.' This teaches children that mistakes are fixable and that taking responsibility matters.

Is the Regulated Parenting Model suitable for parents who yell a lot?

The Regulated Parenting Model was built specifically for this. The first phase, Regulate First, focuses entirely on the parent's own nervous system. It teaches you to notice your escalation signals, interrupt the yelling impulse, and respond from a grounded state. Parents who yell frequently are often the ones who benefit most, because the model addresses the root cause rather than just telling you to 'be calm.'

What age do most Australian kids get their first phone?

According to the Australian eSafety Commissioner, around 80% of Australian children have their own smartphone by age 13. Many receive their first device between ages 10 and 12, often at the transition to high school. However, having a phone and being ready for a phone are two different things. Readiness depends on the child's emotional maturity, not their age or what their friends have.

Should I give my child a phone before high school?

There is rarely a compelling reason to give a child unrestricted smartphone access before high school. If you need to reach your child for safety or logistics, a basic phone without internet access or social media serves that purpose without the risks. The research consistently shows that earlier smartphone access correlates with higher rates of anxiety, sleep disruption, and exposure to harmful content.

What are the risks of giving a child a smartphone too early?

The primary risks include disrupted sleep (blue light and notification cycles), exposure to age-inappropriate content, cyberbullying, social comparison through social media, reduced face-to-face social skill development, and attention fragmentation. For children under 12, whose prefrontal cortex is still developing rapidly, these risks are amplified because they lack the cognitive capacity to self-regulate their usage.

How do I say no to my child when all their friends have phones?

Acknowledge the social pressure honestly: 'I know it feels unfair that some of your friends have phones and you do not. That is a real feeling and I understand it.' Then explain your reasoning simply: 'Our family's rule is that phones come with responsibilities, and we will get there together when we are both ready.' Do not dismiss their frustration. Validate the emotion while holding the boundary.

What rules should I set when I do give my child a phone?

Start with a written family agreement that covers: no phone in the bedroom overnight (charge it in the kitchen), agreed screen-free times (meals, homework, the hour before bed), all passwords shared with parents, no downloading apps without permission, regular check-ins about what they are seeing and who they are talking to, and a clear consequence if rules are broken (phone is returned for a set period, not permanently).

Does the Australian government have guidelines on children and phones?

Yes. The Australian eSafety Commissioner provides age-specific guidance through eSafety.gov.au, including resources on setting up parental controls, managing screen time, and responding to cyberbullying. Several Australian states have also introduced or are considering phone bans in schools. The federal government's Online Safety Act 2021 provides additional protections for children online.

Why do I feel guilty when I set boundaries with my child?

Guilt is one of the most common emotions parents report when they start holding firmer limits. It often comes from a fear that saying no will damage the relationship or cause your child emotional harm. The truth is the opposite: children who grow up without clear boundaries feel less secure, not more. Your guilt is a sign that you care deeply, not a sign that you are doing something wrong.

What is the difference between a boundary and a punishment?

A boundary is a pre-stated limit with a known consequence, delivered calmly. 'If you throw the toy, the toy goes away for the rest of today.' A punishment is reactive, often delivered in anger, and disproportionate to the behaviour. 'That is it, no toys for a week!' Boundaries teach. Punishments control. The child's experience of each is fundamentally different: boundaries feel safe (even when the child is upset), while punishments feel threatening.

How do I set boundaries without being too strict or too permissive?

The middle ground is authoritative parenting: warm and responsive, but with clear expectations and consistent follow-through. You can be loving and firm at the same time. Start with fewer rules that you enforce consistently, rather than many rules that you enforce inconsistently. A child who knows that the three family rules always apply feels more secure than a child who has twenty rules that shift depending on the parent's mood.

My child cries and screams when I set a boundary. Should I give in?

No. Crying, screaming, and protest are normal responses to a limit, especially for young children. This does not mean the boundary is harmful. It means the child is experiencing a feeling they do not yet know how to manage. Stay calm, acknowledge the emotion ('I can see you are really upset about this'), and hold the boundary. Over time, the protests reduce because the child learns that the limit is consistent and survivable.

At what age should I start setting boundaries with my child?

From infancy. Boundaries look different at every developmental stage. For a baby, it might be a consistent bedtime routine. For a toddler, it is 'we do not hit.' For a school-age child, it is expectations around homework, screen time, and how we speak to each other. For a teenager, it is curfews, responsibilities, and mutual respect. The earlier you start, the more natural boundaries feel to the child.

How can I get my partner on the same page about boundaries?

Consistency between parents is one of the strongest predictors of effective boundary-setting. Have the conversation privately, not in front of the child. Agree on your three to five non-negotiable family rules and commit to backing each other up. You do not need to agree on everything, but the core boundaries must be consistent. If one parent undermines the other, the child learns to play you against each other, which is stressful for everyone.

Who created the Regulated Parenting Model?

The Regulated Parenting Model was created by Dr Anna Cohen, a Senior Clinical Psychologist (AHPRA PSY1176554, Doc.Clin.Psych) with over 30 years of experience. Dr Cohen developed the model through her work at Kids & Co Clinical Psychology (6 locations across Sydney) and refined it through thousands of clinical cases. The model is trademarked and forms the foundation of the Better Parent Academy online courses.

How is the Regulated Parenting Model different from Triple P?

Triple P (Positive Parenting Program) is an evidence-based system that focuses primarily on specific parenting strategies and behaviour management techniques. The Regulated Parenting Model shares the evidence base but begins at a different starting point: the parent's own nervous system. Where Triple P gives you tools to manage your child's behaviour, the RPM asks you to regulate yourself first, build connection second, and only then apply behavioural strategies. Both are effective. The RPM is particularly helpful for parents who know what they should do but cannot do it in the heat of the moment.

What age group is the Regulated Parenting Model designed for?

The model applies to parents of children at every developmental stage, from infancy through adolescence. The specific techniques differ by age (you do not set the same boundaries with a two-year-old as you do with a fifteen-year-old), but the three-phase framework of Regulate First, Connection, and Consolidation is universal. Dr Cohen's books cover different age ranges: Parenting Made Easy: The Early Years for young children, Skilful Parent Happy Child for primary-age children, and Taming Teens for adolescents.

Is the Regulated Parenting Model evidence-based?

Yes. The model draws on established research in developmental psychology, neuroscience, attachment theory, and polyvagal theory. The principle that parental regulation precedes child regulation is supported by co-regulation research from the fields of interpersonal neurobiology and attachment science. The behavioural strategies in Phase 3 (Consolidation) align with well-established authoritative parenting practices. Dr Cohen has applied and refined the model across over 30 years of clinical practice with thousands of families.

Where can I learn the Regulated Parenting Model?

The Better Parent Academy offers several pathways. The Master Course ($1,997) provides the full model across 23 structured lessons with lifetime access. The Coaching Program ($3,500) adds live group sessions with Dr Cohen and her clinical team for parents who want guided, hands-on practice. There are also focused mini courses on specific topics such as Taming Technology ($397). Dr Cohen's four published books provide additional depth on applying the model at different ages.

Can the Regulated Parenting Model help with children who have ADHD or autism?

The model is used widely with neurodivergent children and their families. The core principle that a regulated parent creates the conditions for a regulated child applies regardless of diagnosis. However, the specific strategies in Phase 3 (Consolidation) may need to be adapted. For example, children with ADHD may need shorter, more concrete boundary statements, and children with autism may benefit from visual supports alongside verbal limits. Dr Cohen's clinical team at Kids & Co specialises in ADHD and autism assessments and can provide tailored guidance.

How to Talk to Your Teenager When They Shut You Out

Jul 13, 2026

When your teenager shuts you out, the most effective thing you can do is stop chasing the conversation and start creating the conditions for connection. Adolescent withdrawal is not a rejection of you. It is a developmental process. Your teenager is building an identity separate from yours, and that requires space. In my 30 years working with families, the parents who maintain the strongest relationships with their teenagers are not the ones who force communication. They are the ones who stay present, stay calm, and stay available without being intrusive.

What Is Actually Happening in Your Teenager's Brain

The adolescent brain is undergoing the most significant restructuring since the first three years of life. The prefrontal cortex, which handles reasoning, impulse control, and perspective-taking, is essentially under renovation and will not be fully mature until the mid-twenties. At the same time, the limbic system (the emotional brain) is firing at full capacity. This means your teenager is experiencing emotions at adult intensity without the adult brain structures needed to manage them. So when you ask "How was school?" and get a grunt, it is not necessarily rudeness — sometimes it is a teenager who genuinely does not have the cognitive resources to unpack their day right now. Adolescence is also the stage where humans are biologically programmed to individuate from their parents. Your teenager is supposed to pull away. It does not feel good, but it is healthy.

Why the Strategies You Are Using Are Not Working

The most common approaches backfire. Asking more questions feels to the teenager like a series of demands, and the more you ask, the less they give. Making it about you ("I have a right to know") frames the conversation as something they owe you, and teenagers resist obligation fiercely. Lecturing when they open up does the most damage — your teenager finally tells you something real and your immediate advice or warning confirms that talking to you is not safe. Threatening consequences for silence produces compliance at best and resentment at worst, never genuine connection.

What Actually Works: The Side-Door Approach

In the Regulated Parenting Model™, I talk about connection happening through side doors rather than front doors. A front-door approach is direct: "Sit down, we need to talk." A side-door approach creates space for conversation to happen naturally.

Strategy 1: Be in the same room without an agenda

Sit in the kitchen while they make a snack. Be physically present without being conversationally demanding. For every question you want to ask, replace it with a statement or observation. Instead of "How was school?", try "You look tired today." Statements invite rather than interrogate.

Strategy 2: Talk side by side, not face to face

Teenagers often find direct eye contact during emotional conversations threatening — their nervous system reads it as confrontation. The car is your greatest asset. Drive them somewhere, play their music, be quiet. The combination of side-by-side positioning, forward motion, and a natural end point makes it feel safe.

Strategy 3: Respond with curiosity, not correction

If they say "Jake is such an idiot," resist "That is not a nice thing to say" and try "What happened with Jake?" You are not endorsing rudeness — you are keeping the door open. Once they feel heard, they are far more likely to hear you.

Strategy 4: Share your own imperfections

Teenagers are masters at detecting hypocrisy. If you position yourself as the all-knowing authority, they tune you out. Sharing moments where you struggled or felt uncertain makes you human — and humans are easier to talk to than authority figures.

Strategy 5: Respect the closed door

Sometimes your teenager needs to be alone. When they close their bedroom door, respect it. Adolescents need privacy to process their internal world, and a parent who respects that boundary earns trust. The exception is genuine safety concerns.

The Conversation That Changes Everything

I encourage every parent to say some version of this: "I know I do not always get it right when we talk. I sometimes ask too many questions, or jump to advice when you just want me to listen. I am working on that. You can tell me anything, and I will do my best not to react straight away. I might not always agree, but I will always want to hear you." That conversation is about you taking ownership of your part in the dynamic, and it plants a seed that says: this relationship matters enough that I am willing to change.

When to Seek Professional Support

Normal teenage withdrawal looks like moodiness, short answers, preferring friends, and occasional conflict. Seek professional support if your teenager has withdrawn from everyone (not just you), if their mood has shifted significantly for more than two weeks, if their sleep or eating has changed, if they have stopped doing things they used to enjoy, if their school performance has dropped, or if they have expressed hopelessness or thoughts of self-harm. Trust your instincts. In Taming Teens, I explore the delicate balance between giving adolescents autonomy and keeping them safe — a theme I go deeper on in the Master Course.

Frequently Asked Questions

Why does my teenager refuse to talk to me?

Adolescent withdrawal is primarily a developmental process, not a personal rejection. The teenage brain is undergoing massive restructuring, and teenagers are biologically driven to individuate. It can also be a response to past experiences where talking led to lectures or unsolicited advice.

How do I get my teenager to open up to me?

Stop trying to get them to open up and create the conditions where they feel safe enough to do so voluntarily. Be available without being intrusive, ask fewer direct questions and make more observations, drive them places (side by side), and when they do talk, listen without fixing or judging.

Is it normal for a teenager to not want to spend time with their parents?

Yes, completely normal and developmentally healthy. Teenagers shift their primary social focus from parents to peers. It does not mean they no longer need you — they need you as a secure base to return to, not a constant companion.

How do I set boundaries with a teenager who won't listen?

State the boundary clearly, once, when you are both calm. Explain the consequence in advance and follow through consistently. If your teenager argues, acknowledge their frustration without changing the boundary: "I understand you think it is unfair. The rule still stands."

When should I be worried about my teenager's behaviour?

Seek professional support if you notice significant changes lasting more than two weeks: withdrawal from all social contact, changes in sleep or appetite, declining school performance, loss of interest in activities, expressions of hopelessness, or any mention of self-harm. Trust your instincts.

Learn more at betterparentacademy.com or book a consultation at 02 9555 1168.

About the Author

Dr Anna Cohen is a Senior Clinical Psychologist (AHPRA PSY1176554, Doc.Clin.Psych) with over 30 years of experience working with children, adolescents, and families. She is the co-founder of Kids & Co Clinical Psychology (6 locations across Sydney and the Blue Mountains), creator of the trademarked Regulated Parenting Model™, and author of four books including Skilful Parent Happy Child and Taming Teens. The Better Parent Academy is her online platform bringing evidence-based parenting strategies to families across Australia and beyond.

The Better Parent Academy Foundation Course "The 3 Keys" is available now!

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