Being the Role Model Your Child Needs

Being the Role Model Your Child Needs

Hello lovely Parents!

Our kids and young people are keen observers, constantly absorbing information from the world around them. They are natural mimics, effortlessly picking up on the behaviours and actions of those they trust most — primarily, you, their parents and caregivers.

More often than not, children learn by doing, by emulating what they see, rather than simply following verbal instructions. This means that, as parents, we have a unique opportunity to shape our children's character, work habits, and personal values, not just through our words, but through the way we live our lives.

Embracing the Responsibility of a Role Model is no small feat.

While it’s important to set values and requests- I hate rules - and guidelines for our kids, relying solely on verbal instructions or consequences can only take you so far. The deeper and more lasting lessons come when you actively demonstrate the behaviours you wish to see in your child or young person. When we embody the behaviours and values we want our children to adopt, we’re engaging their “mirror neurons.” These neurons are part of the brain's system responsible for helping us learn through imitation. This neurological mechanism allows children to observe their parents or caregivers and replicate their actions, even without being explicitly told what to do.

They observe you taking the time to listen when someone speaks, and they understand the value of respect. Your everyday actions — from how you handle stress to how you manage relationships — serve as a model for how they will approach similar situations.

Know it is Not About Perfection, But Progress!

One key thing to keep in mind is that the goal isn’t to be a perfect parent. It’s unrealistic to expect perfection, and striving for it can set up both you and your child for frustration. Instead, the goal is to become a living example of the values, like honesty, kindness and integrity that you hope your child will adopt. In the same way that children naturally pick up on the bad habits or negative behaviours of adults around them, they are also highly attuned to the positive habits and virtues that you model.

Virtues and Habits are More Than Just Words

There are many qualities that we hope to pass on to our children: honesty, integrity, kindness, empathy, responsibility, and more. These virtues are often taught through direct lessons or stories. But when you live out these values in your day-to-day life, they take on a much more profound meaning. The act of showing your child that you are practicing what you preach reinforces the message, making it easier for them to understand and adopt those values themselves.

By embodying the lessons we want our children to learn, we not only reinforce those values, but we also make them more accessible. It becomes clear to our kids and young people that these virtues are not abstract concepts, but real-life actions that anyone can practice, including our little people.

Remember Actions Speak Louder Than Words!

As parents, we are our child’s first and most influential teacher. We have the unique ability to shape their worldview and influence their character in powerful ways, not through lectures or instructions, but through our own behaviour. The next time you’re about to tell your child what to do or how to act, pause and ask yourself: “Am I modelling this behaviour myself?”

If you’re asking your child to be patient, take a moment to reflect on how you handle frustration or impatience. If you’re encouraging your child to be honest, consider how transparent and truthful you are in your own actions. Are you demonstrating respect and kindness in the way you treat others? Are you showing the value of hard work and discipline through your own efforts?

I firmly believe that our actions speak louder than words, and our children are paying attention — often more closely than we realize. When our actions align with our teachings, it creates a more powerful and lasting impact. It sends a clear message that the values you are imparting are not just rules to follow, but ways of life that are worth living.

Finally, parenting isn’t about perfection. It’s about progress and growth, both for you and your child. As we work to instil values and behaviours in our children, remember that the most effective way to teach them is often by leading through example. When we embody the virtues we wish to see in our little people, we’re not only helping them learn, but we’re also strengthening our bond and laying the foundation for their character development.
So, I would encourage you to take a moment to reflect on your own behaviours and ask yourself if they reflect the lessons you hope to pass on — because your child is watching, and they’re learning from everything we do.

Change is possible no matter where you are in your parenting journey. You’ve got this! I wish you joy in your parenting.